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Phyllis Diller
Puzzles
Quotes
Which one of these four quotes is attributed to Phyllis Diller?
→ I asked the waiter, “Is this milk fresh?” He said, “Lady, three hours ago it was grass.”
→ When something important is going on, silence is a lie.
→ High expectations are the key to everything.
→ If you don't place your foot on the rope, you'll never cross the chasm.
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Pick the quote attributed to Phyllis Diller.
→ Opportunity is missed by most people because it is dressed in overalls and looks like work.
→ When obstacles arise, you change your direction to reach your goal; you do not change your decision to get there.
→ I want my children to have all the things I couldn’t afford. Then I want to move in with them.
→ Failure is success if we learn from it.
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Select the quotation attributed to Phyllis Diller.
→ Life is never boring, but some people choose to be bored.
→ A grandmother pretends she doesn't know who you are on Halloween.
→ Many modest men have a great deal to be modest about.
→ We spend the first twelve months of our children’s lives teaching them to walk and talk and the next twelve telling them to sit down and shut up.
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One of these may be attributed to Phyllis Diller. Which one?
→ Anybody who watches three games of football in a row should be declared brain dead.
→ It always seems impossible, until it is done.
→ Women want men, careers, money, children, friends, luxury, comfort, independence, freedom, respect, love, and three dollar pantyhose that won't run.
→ Progress isn’t made by early risers. It’s made by lazy men trying to find easier ways to do something.
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Which one of these belongs to Phyllis Diller?
→ The man who can’t put fire into his speeches, should put his speeches into the fire.
→ A fruit is a vegetable with looks and money.
→ There is no such thing as a little garlic.
→ My idea of exercise is a good brisk sit down.
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Can you identify the right quote belonging to Phyllis Diller?
→ I’ve had a perfectly wonderful evening, but this wasn’t it.
→ Be miserable. Or motivate yourself. Whatever has to be done, it's always your choice.
→ Today you can go to a gas station and find the cash register open and the toilets locked. They must think toilet paper is worth more than money.
→ The only parts left of my original body are my elbows.
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Guess which of these quotes is attributed to Phyllis Diller.
→ You can never underestimate the stupidity of the general public.
→ If I could just say a few words… I'd be a better public speaker.
→ Cleaning your house while your kids are still growing is like shoveling the sidewalk before it stops snowing.
→ I really wonder what gives us the right to wreck this poor planet of ours.
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One of the following quotations belongs to Phyllis Diller. Which one?
→ A stumble is not a fall.
→ Always be nice to your children because they are the ones who will choose your rest home.
→ If you want a friend in Washington, get a dog.
→ Last week I told my psychiatrist, "I keep thinking about suicide." He told me that from now on I have to pay in advance.
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Can you guess which one of these belongs to Phyllis Diller?
→ Books choose their authors; the act of creation is not entirely a rational and conscious one.
→ In most states you can get a driver's license when you're sixteen years old, which made a lot of sense to me when I was sixteen years old but now seems insane.
→ The entrepreneur always searches for change, responds to it, and exploits it as an opportunity.
→ Education costs money, but then so does ignorance.
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Try to identify the quote attributed to Phyllis Diller.
→ What I don’t like about office Christmas parties is looking for a job the next day.
→ I’m beginning to have morning sickness... I’m not having a baby, I’m just sick of morning.
→ Life is 10% what happens to me and 90% of how I react to it.
→ The simple solution for disappointment depression: Get up and get moving. Physically move. Do. Act. Get going.
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Looks like Phyllis Diller is the author of one of these.
→ Trust yourself. You know more than you think you do.
→ Drama is life with the dull bits cut out.
→ Best way to get rid of kitchen odors: eat out.
→ I have found the paradox that if I love until it hurts, then there is no hurt, but only more love.
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Pick the one quotation belonging to Phyllis Diller.
→ Every day brings a chance for you to draw in a breath, kick off your shoes, and dance.
→ Money can’t buy love, but it improves your bargaining position.
→ Whatever you may look like, marry a man your own age – as your beauty fades, so will his eyesight.
→ You can turn painful situations around through laughter. If you can find humor in anything, even poverty, you can survive it.
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Which one should be attributed to Phyllis Diller?
→ Most children threaten at times to run away from home. This is the only thing that keeps some parents going.
→ In life you need either inspiration or desperation.
→ It's so hard to forget pain, but it's even harder to remember sweetness. We have no scar to show for happiness. We learn so little from peace.
→ A warm smile is the universal language of kindness.
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Can you identify which quote belongs to Phyllis Diller?
→ A gold mine is a hole in the ground with a liar at the top.
→ The only time I ever enjoyed ironing was the day I accidentally got gin in the steam iron.
→ I think a hero is an ordinary individual who finds strength to persevere and endure in spite of overwhelming obstacles.
→ When you have only two pennies left in the world, buy a loaf of bread with one, and a lily with the other.
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Select the quote belonging to Phyllis Diller.
→ Management is doing things right; leadership is doing the right things.
→ Posterity is as likely to be wrong as anybody else.
→ Maybe it's true that life begins at fifty. But everything else starts to wear out, fall out, or spread out...
→ This is like deja vu all over again.
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Choose which quotation belongs to Phyllis Diller.
→ The two most important days in your life are the day you are born and the day you discover why.
→ The reason women don't play football is because 11 of them would never wear same outfit in public.
→ Even though your kids will consistently do the exact opposite of what you're telling them to do, you have to keep loving them just as much.
→ Character is what you know you are, not what others think you have.
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Select the quote, which is attributable to Phyllis Diller.
→ The purpose of life is a life of purpose.
→ When I go to the beauty parlor, I always use the emergency entrance.
→ Any man today who returns from work, sinks into a chair, and calls for his pipe is a man with an appetite for danger.
→ You live and learn. At any rate, you live.
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