Back
Graham Cann
Quotes
Which one of these four quotes is attributed to Graham Cann?
→ It's hard to explain puns to kleptomaniacs because they always take things literally.
→ Gambling addiction hotlines might get a lot more gamblers if every tenth caller was a winner.
→ Sponges grow in the oceans. I wonder how much deeper the oceans would be if that didn't happen.
→ I went to the doctor's to ask if he had anything for the wind. So he gave me a kite.
[ Click here to find out ]
Pick the quote attributed to Graham Cann.
→ I've never really thought of myself as depressed so much as I am paralyzed by hope.
→ I've got a chicken proof lawn. It's impeccable.
→ When you make quick drying cement, there are no hard and fast rules.
→ I'd like to tell some chimneyy jokes. I've got a stack of them and the first one's on the house.
[ Click here to find out ]
Select the quotation attributed to Graham Cann.
→ I wear a necklace, cause I wanna know when I’m upside down.
→ What do you call a cow with one leg shorter than the other? Lean beef.
→ I've decided to sell my vacuum cleaner. It was just collecting dust.
→ As a family we couldn't decide whether to have our granny cremated or buried so in the end we let her live.
[ Click here to find out ]
One of these may be attributed to Graham Cann. Which one?
→ I recently got crushed by a pile of books but suppose I've only got my shelf to blame.
→ I have a horse called Mayo. Mayo neighs.
→ A chicken crossing the road is poultry in motion.
→ I just watched a documentary on the uses of the pick axe. It was ground breaking stuff.
[ Click here to find out ]
Which one of these belongs to Graham Cann?
→ I used to be addicted to soap but I'm clean now.
→ Gambling addiction hotlines might get a lot more gamblers if every tenth caller was a winner.
→ It's not that I'm afraid to die, I just don't want to be there when it happens.
→ I went to the doctor's to ask if he had anything for the wind. So he gave me a kite.
[ Click here to find out ]
Can you identify the right quote belonging to Graham Cann?
→ One good reason to only maintain a small circle of friends is that three out of four murders are committed by people who know the victim.
→ I've got a gun made out of a dozen pigs. It's a 12-boar.
→ What do you call a fish with no eyes? Fsh.
→ A man goes to his doctor with a strawberry growing out of his head. So he gave him some cream to put on it.
[ Click here to find out ]
Guess which of these quotes is attributed to Graham Cann.
→ A mate of mine admitted to being addicted to brake fluid. When I quizzed him, he said he could stop at any time.
→ When the elephant stepped on the grape it let out a little whine.
→ This joke is about people with crooked teeth. Brace yourself!
→ I went to the doctor's to ask if he had anything for the wind. So he gave me a kite.
[ Click here to find out ]
One of the following quotations belongs to Graham Cann. Which one?
→ If you make decisions based upon people's reactions or judgments then you make really boring choices.
→ I've just read a book on the psychology of camping. It was in tents.
→ Sad news. Yesterday the man who invented predictive text has pissed away. His funfair is next monkey.
→ When you make quick drying cement, there are no hard and fast rules.
[ Click here to find out ]
Can you guess which one of these belongs to Graham Cann?
→ I've got a chicken proof lawn. It's impeccable.
→ What do you call a fish with no eyes? Fsh.
→ Some people say I've got the legs of a dancer. But until they find the rest of the body, the police have got nothing on me.
→ I've decided to sell my vacuum cleaner. It was just collecting dust.
[ Click here to find out ]
Try to identify the quote attributed to Graham Cann.
→ I rolled up a stiff carpet and smoked it. I'm on hard rugs.
→ What do you call a cow with one leg shorter than the other? Lean beef.
→ A leopard can never play hide and seek. He's always spotted.
→ A man goes to his doctor with a strawberry growing out of his head. So he gave him some cream to put on it.
[ Click here to find out ]
Looks like Graham Cann is the author of one of these.
→ People say I've got no willpower but I've quit smoking loads of times.
→ I used to be addicted to soap but I'm clean now.
→ I have a horse called Mayo. Mayo neighs.
→ A chicken crossing the road is poultry in motion.
[ Click here to find out ]
Pick the one quotation belonging to Graham Cann.
→ I've been reading a book about anti-gravity. It's impossible to put down.
→ When the elephant stepped on the grape it let out a little whine.
→ Sad news. Yesterday the man who invented predictive text has pissed away. His funfair is next monkey.
→ I'd like to tell some chimneyy jokes. I've got a stack of them and the first one's on the house.
[ Click here to find out ]
Which one should be attributed to Graham Cann?
→ Sponges grow in the oceans. I wonder how much deeper the oceans would be if that didn't happen.
→ I've got a chicken proof lawn. It's impeccable.
→ A leopard can never play hide and seek. He's always spotted.
→ There's a TV documentary about a charity asking for donations in the form of time-keeping devices. I might give it a watch.
[ Click here to find out ]
Can you identify which quote belongs to Graham Cann?
→ People say I've got no willpower but I've quit smoking loads of times.
→ I used to be addicted to soap but I'm clean now.
→ The best place to weigh whales is at a whale weigh station.
→ As a family we couldn't decide whether to have our granny cremated or buried so in the end we let her live.
[ Click here to find out ]
Select the quote belonging to Graham Cann.
→ I have a horse called Mayo. Mayo neighs.
→ A chicken crossing the road is poultry in motion.
→ It's not that I'm afraid to die, I just don't want to be there when it happens.
→ This joke is about people with crooked teeth. Brace yourself!
[ Click here to find out ]
Choose which quotation belongs to Graham Cann.
→ A mate of mine admitted to being addicted to brake fluid. When I quizzed him, he said he could stop at any time.
→ I had a happy childhood. My dad would put me inside a tire and roll me down the hill. They were Goodyears.
→ What do you call a cow with one leg shorter than the other? Lean beef.
→ When the elephant stepped on the grape it let out a little whine.
[ Click here to find out ]
Select the quote, which is attributable to Graham Cann.
→ I was messing about in this lesson and the teacher told me to go outside. I was petrified. It was a flying lesson.
→ I had a happy childhood. My dad would put me inside a tire and roll me down the hill. They were Goodyears.
→ I have a horse called Mayo. Mayo neighs.
→ The best place to weigh whales is at a whale weigh station.
[ Click here to find out ]
Identify the quotation belonging to Graham Cann?
→ I've been reading a book about anti-gravity. It's impossible to put down.
→ I was messing about in this lesson and the teacher told me to go outside. I was petrified. It was a flying lesson.
→ I've got a gun made out of a dozen pigs. It's a 12-boar.
→ This joke is about people with crooked teeth. Brace yourself!
[ Click here to find out ]
One of the following quotes belongs to Graham Cann. Pick one.
→ I rolled up a stiff carpet and smoked it. I'm on hard rugs.
→ It's hard to explain puns to kleptomaniacs because they always take things literally.
→ I've just read a book on the psychology of camping. It was in tents.
→ There's a TV documentary about a charity asking for donations in the form of time-keeping devices. I might give it a watch.
[ Click here to find out ]
Guess the right quote, which belongs to Graham Cann.
→ People say I've got no willpower but I've quit smoking loads of times.
→ I recently got crushed by a pile of books but suppose I've only got my shelf to blame.
→ A man goes to his doctor with a strawberry growing out of his head. So he gave him some cream to put on it.
→ I just watched a documentary on the uses of the pick axe. It was ground breaking stuff.
[ Click here to find out ]
Which one of these four quotes is attributed to Graham Cann?
→ If you make decisions based upon people's reactions or judgments then you make really boring choices.
→ I've been reading a book about anti-gravity. It's impossible to put down.
→ Some people say I've got the legs of a dancer. But until they find the rest of the body, the police have got nothing on me.
→ I've decided to sell my vacuum cleaner. It was just collecting dust.
[ Click here to find out ]
Pick the quote attributed to Graham Cann.
→ A mate of mine admitted to being addicted to brake fluid. When I quizzed him, he said he could stop at any time.
→ Gambling addiction hotlines might get a lot more gamblers if every tenth caller was a winner.
→ Sponges grow in the oceans. I wonder how much deeper the oceans would be if that didn't happen.
→ I went to the doctor's to ask if he had anything for the wind. So he gave me a kite.
[ Click here to find out ]
Select the quotation attributed to Graham Cann.
→ I used to be addicted to soap but I'm clean now.
→ What do you call a cow with one leg shorter than the other? Lean beef.
→ When the elephant stepped on the grape it let out a little whine.
→ It's not that I'm afraid to die, I just don't want to be there when it happens.
[ Click here to find out ]
One of these may be attributed to Graham Cann. Which one?
→ A mate of mine admitted to being addicted to brake fluid. When I quizzed him, he said he could stop at any time.
→ Gambling addiction hotlines might get a lot more gamblers if every tenth caller was a winner.
→ I was messing about in this lesson and the teacher told me to go outside. I was petrified. It was a flying lesson.
→ When you make quick drying cement, there are no hard and fast rules.
[ Click here to find out ]
Which one of these belongs to Graham Cann?
→ Eschew the ordinary, disdain the commonplace. If you have a single-minded need for something, let it be the unusual, the esoteric, the bizarre, the unexpected.
→ It's hard to explain puns to kleptomaniacs because they always take things literally.
→ What do you call a fish with no eyes? Fsh.
→ My father only hit me once but he used a Volvo.
[ Click here to find out ]
Can you identify the right quote belonging to Graham Cann?
→ I rolled up a stiff carpet and smoked it. I'm on hard rugs.
→ I've just read a book on the psychology of camping. It was in tents.
→ I've got a chicken proof lawn. It's impeccable.
→ A leopard can never play hide and seek. He's always spotted.
[ Click here to find out ]
Guess which of these quotes is attributed to Graham Cann.
→ Some people say I've got the legs of a dancer. But until they find the rest of the body, the police have got nothing on me.
→ A man goes to his doctor with a strawberry growing out of his head. So he gave him some cream to put on it.
→ I've decided to sell my vacuum cleaner. It was just collecting dust.
→ My father only hit me once but he used a Volvo.
[ Click here to find out ]
One of the following quotations belongs to Graham Cann. Which one?
→ I rolled up a stiff carpet and smoked it. I'm on hard rugs.
→ I was messing about in this lesson and the teacher told me to go outside. I was petrified. It was a flying lesson.
→ This joke is about people with crooked teeth. Brace yourself!
→ I'd like to tell some chimneyy jokes. I've got a stack of them and the first one's on the house.
[ Click here to find out ]
Can you guess which one of these belongs to Graham Cann?
→ I've just read a book on the psychology of camping. It was in tents.
→ The best place to weigh whales is at a whale weigh station.
→ I've got a gun made out of a dozen pigs. It's a 12-boar.
→ My father only hit me once but he used a Volvo.
[ Click here to find out ]