Henny Youngman

Puzzles

• When I read about the evils of drinking, I gave up ___.
  What’s missing ___? [ Click here to find out ]
• When you battle with your ___ and lose, you win.
  What’s missing ___? [ Click here to find out ]
• The ___ of a happy marriage remains a ___.
  What’s missing ___? [ Click here to find out ]

Quotes

• Which one of these four quotes is attributed to Henny Youngman?

  • → A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend. A successful woman is one who can find such a man.
  • → If you’re going to do something tonight that you’ll be sorry for tomorrow morning, sleep late.
  • → I went to the museum where they had all the heads and arms from the statues that are in all the other museums.
  • → There are so many things that we wish we had done yesterday, so few that we feel like doing today.
  
  [ Click here to find out ]

• Pick the quote attributed to Henny Youngman.

  • → Sometimes we need to remind ourselves that thankfulness is indeed a virtue.
  • → The speed of the leader determines the rate of the pack.
  • → To tolerate does not mean to forget that what we tolerate does not deserve anything more.
  • → The horse I bet on was so slow, the jockey kept a diary of the trip.
  
  [ Click here to find out ]

• Select the quotation attributed to Henny Youngman.

  • → I can understand why mankind hasn't given up war. During a war you get to drive tanks through the sides of buildings and shoot foreigners— two things that are usually frowned on during peacetime.
  • → I’ve got all the money I’ll ever need, if I die by four o’clock.
  • → Grief and tragedy and hatred are only for a time. Goodness, remembrance and love have no end.
  • → People drain me, even the closest of friends, and I find loneliness to be the best state in the union to live in.
  
  [ Click here to find out ]