W. C. Fields

Puzzles

• Start every day off with a ___ and get it over with.
  What’s missing ___? [ Click here to find out ]
• ___ sense is the thing a ___ has which keeps it from betting on people.
  What’s missing ___? [ Click here to find out ]
• I cook with ___, sometimes I even add it to the food.
  What’s missing ___? [ Click here to find out ]
• Always carry a flagon of whiskey in case of snakebite and furthermore always carry a small ___.
  What’s missing ___? [ Click here to find out ]
• When life hands you lemons, make ___ sours.
  What’s missing ___? [ Click here to find out ]
• A rich man is nothing but a ___ man with money.
  What’s missing ___? [ Click here to find out ]
• It was a woman who drove me to drink – and you know, I never even ___ her.
  What’s missing ___? [ Click here to find out ]
• I never ___ for anyone; I always ___ against.
  What’s missing ___? [ Click here to find out ]
• After two days in hospital I took a turn for the ___.
  What’s missing ___? [ Click here to find out ]
• A good cure for ___ is to get plenty of sleep.
  What’s missing ___? [ Click here to find out ]
• My favourite occupation is gin ___ - but not together.
  What’s missing ___? [ Click here to find out ]

Quotes

• Which one of these four quotes is attributed to W. C. Fields?

  • → A rich man is one who isn’t afraid to ask the salesperson to show him something cheaper.
  • → In the midst of life we are in debt.
  • → The cost of living has gone up another dollar a quart.
  • → I once gave a waiter a tip - I told him never to step off a moving bus.
  
  [ Click here to find out ]

• Pick the quote attributed to W. C. Fields.

  • → It is hard enough to remember my opinions, without also remembering my reasons for them.
  • → Remember, a dead fish can float downstream, but it takes a live one to swim upstream.
  • → The only thing a golfer needs is more daylight.
  • → Too little liberty brings stagnation and too much brings chaos.
  
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• Select the quotation attributed to W. C. Fields.

  • → A man may die, nations may rise and fall, but an idea lives on. Ideas have endurance without death.
  • → Some people’s idea of free speech is that they are free to say what they like, but if anyone says anything back, that is an outrage.
  • → If at first you don’t succeed, try, try again. Then quit. There’s no point in being a damn fool about it.
  • → You may not realize it when it happens, but a kick in the teeth may be the best thing in the world for you.
  
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• One of these may be attributed to W. C. Fields. Which one?

  • → The books that everybody admires are those that nobody reads.
  • → Lesser artists borrow, great artists steal.
  • → The clever cat eats cheese and breathes down rat holes with baited breath.
  • → The best computer is a man, and it’s the only one that can be mass-produced by unskilled labor.
  
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• Which one of these belongs to W. C. Fields?

  • → I’m not feeling very well — I need a doctor immediately. Ring the nearest golf course.
  • → Water, taken in moderation, cannot hurt anybody.
  • → I didn’t squawk about the steak, dear. I merely said I didn’t see that old horse that used to be tethered outside here.
  • → The most dangerous food is wedding cake.
  
  [ Click here to find out ]

• Can you identify the right quote belonging to W. C. Fields?

  • → To exist is to change, to change is to mature, to mature is to go on creating oneself endlessly.
  • → There are two things that will be believed of any man whatsoever, and one of them is that he has taken to drink.
  • → The laziest man I ever met put popcorn in his pancakes so they would turn over by themselves.
  • → If you want to catch more fish, use more hooks.
  
  [ Click here to find out ]